Going no contact is what you have to do in order to protect yourself, to put up boundaries, and to stop that narcissistic abuse. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, going no-contact is what you will eventually have to do if you want out of the toxic relationship. It will hurt, you will be confused, but it will save you tons of heartache by moving on from the relationship as soon as you can. When this happens, its best you just let them go. Ghosting is when a narcissist leaves your life with no intention of returning.
Radio silence vs no contact full#
They may do this as an extreme form of silent treatment however, it would be for the full purpose and they will end up responding to you rather than just completely vanishing into thin air when ghosting you. If you no longer give a narcissist supply, they will not feel the moral duty to have a conversation with you or to talk to you about wanting to leave the relationship- they will just leave.
Narcissists do not actually value the people that do not give them supply. If a narcissist ghosts you, it means they stop responding to your calls, texts, or leave your life suddenly- without an explanation and usually without dropping any hints that they no longer want to be a part of your life. Ghosting is something that narcissists do to devalue others but also to discard people that are no longer giving them the supply they crave. They will move on to something else when they realize that this manipulation and punishment tactic is not controlling you nor hurting you. If they silence themselves, then do the same. Do not show them that you notice that they are being silent. The best way to combat this is to not give in to their scheme. Narcissists get supply, which is their form of oxygen, from giving you the silent treatment- so long as it noticeably affects you in some way. They want you to grovel, they want you to beg for their forgiveness, they want you to actively seek their attention. They will give you the silent treatment if they feel like they aren’t getting enough attention or validation from you. Narcissists will give you the silent treatment as a means of punishment if they feel upset or hurt by something you have done- or haven’t done. The silent treatment is one of the darker sides of the iceberg that is narcissistic supply. These are the things that give narcissist’s supply in a way that normal people wouldn’t be fulfilled from – intimidation, bullying, gaslighting, projection, manipulation, flying monkeys, silent treatment. The part of themselves that they only show their victims. The rest of the iceberg is what I call the dark underbelly of narcissistic supply. Narcissists have no sense of self and no self-esteem and so they derive all of their value from the external. Who doesn’t like getting compliments, validation, nice things, and respect? These are the types of things that first come to mind when we think of what can possibly feed an ego however, these are just the tip of the iceberg. I liken it to the tip of the iceberg because the types of things that make up narcissistic supply at the tip of the iceberg are the things that would feed anybody’s egos. Remember that narcissists are doing whatever they can to get narcissistic supply which is anything that feeds their egos. It’s something that they do to get a rise out of you, to make you upset, and to make you beg for their validation and/or forgiveness. The silent treatment is a tactic that narcissists will use to manipulate, control, and/or punish you. Each of these terms are important to note if you’re dealing with a narcissist – especially if you want out of the relationship. All three of these tactics are used in narcissistic relationships however, you are the one that conducts and initiates going “no-contact.” Although the silent treatment and ghosting seem very similar in nature, they have some discrepancies. Narcissists love to use the silent treatment and ghosting methods of manipulation and control however, you are the one that must go no contact to save yourself.